The following is based on actual events.

It is an ordinary morning in the household, the Mother Ship is visiting the temple with Poor Daddy aiding and abetting the plan. Daughter1 and Daughter2 are enjoying their 45 minutes of freedom. Then Daughter2’s phone rings.

D2: Hello? *cackle on opposite end* It’s for you *hands phone to D1*

D1: Hello? Yeah, Ma…

M: Baba needs to go out urgently. Make two rotis, a bowl of chana, a glass of milk, a bowl of papaya and cut five onions.

D1: When do you return?

M: Ten minutes.

D1 and D2: *urgent world-coming-to-an-end scurrying around kitchen*

D1: They’re home!

M: Is the milk in the fridge? Is the chana ready? What are you cutting the papaya on? *shrieks* you’re going to leave marks on that! Have I taught you nothing?! Have you made the rotis? Where are the rotis?!

D1: Ma, it’s….

M: What were both of you doing? Did you put salt in the chana? Did you squeeze lemon into it? I’ve told you he is going to have milk! Why did you squeeze lemon into it!

D1: I didn’t squ…

M: There’s too much salt in this! Put more chana in this! Where are the rotis?!

D2: Didi was just going to….

M: What were both of you doing till now! We left at 10:25, it is 12:15 now. Do you want your father to leave the house hungry?

B: *nom nom nom nom* I need some pepper…

D2: *whispers to D1* How many rotis did you have to make?

D1: *sigh* two…

D2: That’s it?! *frustrated yelling* Ma, will you quit acting like she needs to make enough rotis to feed an army?!

B: Will noone in this house give me some pepper?

D2: *urgent dry grinding of pepper*

D1: *rotis, papayas, chana, world peace*

D1: *looks at B* How are the rotis?

B: Here, have some papaya.

D1: I asked you whether the rotis are fine, you are feeding me papaya. Zero out of ten.

M: I told you in advance, yet nothing is done. What were both of you doing? *CID-type revelation* Aaaaaaah *Looks at D2* You were watching T.V! You have exams going on! How dare you watch T.V!

D2: I wasn’t….

M: You were, for sure. Didi never folds the cover so neatly when she watches…

D1: *exasperated* I was watching T.V. By the way, there has been no transmission for the last 45 minutes.

M: WHAT?! *war-mode, dials cable operator*

*D1 and D2 hi-five*

D2: *to D1* I admire your topic-changing capabilities.

Advertisements