Despite being awarded Cynic of the Year on 31 December 2010, I decided that I will be a Brand New Person, at least for the first month of 2011. And the plan of action involved doing everything that 2010 Me would have puked on, what with me being a cynic and all. So I copied Anjaana Anjaani onto my portable hard disk, joked about my laptop crashing and my life coming to a standstill, wore a bright red windcheater that drove people into epileptic spasms of laughter and made a New Year resolution.

I think I liked the old me better.

I also went a step ahead and instead of promising myself things that I really needed, such as hitting the gym or sleeping more often, I decided my New Year resolution would have me being positive in situations where I otherwise would have started counting my last hours. KhiKhi burst into peals of laughter when I confessed, hoping for an evaluation that affirmed that I had successfully driven myself closer to self-actualization, and instead said, “Yeah! I’d like to see THAT happen!”

If I were to count my blessings, the list would read something like this:

  1. I am a strong, healthy person without any major diseases.
  2. I study at the School of Planning and Architecture.
  3. My most major expenses are the prints I take every week for my review.
  4. I am studying Planning, which is taking me to new places and by the time I am done, I will know a few cities like the back of my hand.
  5. I have a small set of people I hold close to my heart and I know that when I need them, they will come hold placards at protest rallies I organize and tell me those jeans do not make my bum look the size of a country.

Since I suck at giving up awards conferred on me, I shall also simultaneously list my un-blessings:

  1. I am a strong, healthy person without any major diseases, apart from chronic migraine and balding at 23.
  2. I study at the School of Planning and Architecture. OhNo. ‘nuff said.
  3. My most major expenses are the prints I take every week for my review. I need to get a life and some weekend plans.
  4. I am studying Planning, which is taking me to new places and by the time I am done, I will know a few cities like the back of my hand. Till now, that list only includes Bathinda.
  5. I have a small set of people I hold close to my heart and I know that when I need them, they will come hold placards at protest rallies I organize and tell me those jeans do not make my bum look the size of a country. Forming this tiny circle comes at the cost of heartaches, tough lessons and knives in my back I could have done without.

There. So much for resolutions. I think they are nice things, however, these annual promises. They allow us to live in a tiny happy bubble that leads us to believe that we are capable of positive change. They are also, however, causes of impulsive (and expensive) Make Me Better decisions such as gym memberships and cookery classes. And they are exceedingly fascinating, because we all know one person who puts up theirs as a Facebook status or encourages earth-shattering discussions that begin with, “So, what’s your New Year resolution?” or writes long, tedious blog posts about it.

 

 

 

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